DIARY OF THE REVEREND WM. C. EMERSON  

[There is more to the diary, only the beginning was copied herein.  Unfortunately, I did not note who shared this diary with me, but I believe it came from a fellow Emerson cousin, either Craig Emerson or Toby Emerson.  Wish I had kept better notes when I was starting my research. -- Mona Robinson Mills]

[The bracketed information was inserted by the transcriber.]

I was born in South Carolina, Abbeville District, Oct 15, 1818, of poor but respectable parents, by name of William and Mary Emerson.  My father died a few weeks before my birth, being thus deprived of my Father, I never knew the loss of him.  Being now left in the care of my mother alone, and the youngest of the family, as is generally the case with the youngest, I was too much doated upon.

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My grandmother, Mary Armstrong, a native of Scotland, living near; also [would have been the widow of Samuel Armstrong] being a widow, I passed much of my time in her house, for the sake of keeping her company; for she was now nearly eighty (80) years of age.  Thus, I was [perhaps born c. 1750 or so] brought up between my Mother and Grandmother, pretty much after the Old School of Scotland.  My Grandmother as is generally the case with Scotland Ladies - [he said here Irish] had a strong constitution, together with a vigorous and active mind, especially concerning things that had transacted in her youthful days.  I used to sit up until late at night and hear her relate circumstances, and fairy tales, until the hair of my head would feel like standing straight upon my head.  Thus having my mind filled with imaginary scenes, I retired to bed, and of course, be harassed with the fairies and dreadful dreams.  This of course had a bad tendency upon a young mind and thus having my mind filled with these dreadful tales, I was even afraid to make a step into the dark.  And here, I would advise Parents never to give their children this kind of instruction - knowing the bad effects of it.

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My grandmother lived to the great age of ninety-six (96), having never passed a night since I can remember without sleeping with the Bible under her head.  I frequently thought she was a good old woman or she would not love the Bible so much, and I have great reasons to believe she died happy in the Lord - to be with my Grandfather.

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I commenced going to school at the age of seven, to a Mr. Hugh Huston - continued two years - by this time I could read, write and cipher, tolerably well, [does not compute - born 1818, started school in 1825, two years later 1827 ?] in 1823.  I went up to Pickens District to pass a year with one of my sisters, I [so one of his sisters was considerably older and married before 1823 and in Pickens.] then found out how much I loved my good Mother, for the night after I arrived at my journey's end, I scarcely slept one wink, weeping to think that I was so great a distance from her, [which was only sixty miles].  I then made acquaintance with the rude children in that settlement, and was led in many respects to forget the kind instruction of my Mother, and thus led on by rude companions, I ceased to read my book and went wandering about fishing and hunting on the Sabbath days.  Here I would advise parents to beware how they send their children from home while young.

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Having passed a year in this place, I returned to see my Mother and was received with much joy.  My brother-in-law then would have me to return with him, but I could not bear the thought of being separated from my beloved Mother, little thinking I should shortly be deprived of her forever.  My mother had married a second time to Major James Pickens and then resided at Squire Black's Mills on Penny's Creek [a stream  at 341101N 0822949W in the Abbeville District - on US Geo Survey map-Abbeville West].  In the fall of 1824, they were both taken very ill, with the fever.  My stepfather lay nine days, and from all appearance died of no great agony.  Little did I then think that death could be met in any other way than with awful terror. Death having now visited for the first time My Mother's house, of my recollections, and my good Brother being dangerously ill - the death of my Mother - and on account of my  [So Mary Armstrong Emerson Pickens died in 1824] illness I was awfully afraid I should be left without anyone to guide me in this state of anxiety.  I was taken ill with the same complaint.

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My Mother now becoming worse daily, I almost forgot my own case, thinking she was about to be taken from me.  Sure enough, nine days after my Stepfather's death, death did his dreadful work and her immortal soul was wafted, as I fondly hope to those glorious mansions which the Saviour has prepared for those who love him.  I, now being very ill, of course, was unprepared for such a dreadful shock.  Many people were assembled, and great lamentation was made.  My Brothers and Sisters tried in vain to give me [note the plural of both brothers and sisters] consolation, for I was bereft of all my parents, and being young, knew not what I should do or where I should go.

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Death having made such a dreadful havoc in my Mother's house, I knew not but that I should be the one on whom he should next lay his cold hands.  However, in a few days, I became better, and my Brother and Sisters returned home, about some forty or fifty miles.

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My Brother, Henry, who lived in Abbeville took me to his house and in a few [Now we know that Henry was the brother of William and son of the Sr. William] days by some management, I was taken worse, and lay for five weeks, apparently on the brink of death.  Physicians and neighbors gave me up and thought I must go and see my Mother - whom I so much loved.  But it did not please God that I should be taken out of the world, at that early age, for he had something for me to do before I should undergo so great a change.  Thus after suffering for nearly three months my health was in a measure restored.   Oh, what great reason had I to thank God for his goodness - for I shall ever believe that affliction was a blessing to me.

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My Brother's settlement in Alabama being now left in my Brother's care, and choosing him for my guardian, concluded to live with him until I became a man.  He became dissatisfied with his residence, resolved to move to Alabama, and persuaded me off with him, -In the same Fall 1824, he set out, although I was scarcely able to keep up with the wagons.  In January 1825, we landed at my Brother's Mother-in-law, who at this time resided in Pleasant Valley, Dallas County.  [Alabama]

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I had now undergone a great many changes, so many strange sights, such as large water sources, Cities, Towns, etc., and above all, the wild-looking Indians, whom I much feared at that time, having heard such dreadful tales about them.  My Brother being a poor man at that time, unable to purchase land, took a lease for four years from James H. Morrison, - and being young and unaccustomed to labor, it went very hard with me for a while.

In this manner, I spent four years laboring on the farm with my Brother. And as is generally the case with Brothers and Sisters living together, in a state of nature we had a disagreement and I resolved to leave him.  This is a part of my life (for some time) I had rather not make known to any - for I dread to look back upon it.  Of the six years, I went awhile to school.

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It was now a question of whether I should live any longer with my Brother, however, I thought it not best and hired myself to a Mrs. Morrow for twelve months, then residing near Selma Sarah Morrow?. During this time many scenes and circumstances took place, which I must pass over.  Having now turned myself loose in the wide world and having neither parental nor fraternal restraint, I gave myself loose reins.  First year after leaving my Brother, let nature and the wicked one have complete control over me.  I first fell into bad company, next breaking the Sabbath, then to swearing.  Oh, I tremble looking back upon the year I spent at that place - for here  I first learned to lead the dance, to engage in all the vanity arising from such abominable practice.  To break the Sabbath by hunting with my gun, and carousing on that sacred day, first to the wilderness, then to the rivers.

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No tree was considered too dangerous for me to find the top, either for the sake of fruits, or bird nests.  There too, as before mentioned, I learned the horrid practice of using God's name in an irreverent manner.  Ah well do I remember, when I swore the first oath on the Sabbath, as my companions and I were doing mischief, as was our custom.  I became angry with one of them and swore a wicked oath.  SO unaccustomed were they to hear me use such language that one of them remarked, that was the first oath he had ever heard me swear.  So dreadfully confounded was I, (notwithstanding) I did not then consider it indecent that I fain would have been out of their company, but as everything has a beginning, thus the way was opened and I afterward had no restraint of my wicked tongue.  Oh, how the thoughts of a pious Mother's admonitions rolled into my mind.

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Now I know the kind admonitions of a parent, will never be erased from the mind of a child; for although my mother had been dead for some time I had not forgotten the good instructions which she gave me. (Thus a year of my youth passed off, of which I am ashamed to write), yet it may be advantageous to those who may read this.  Here I would warn young people to beware of the beginnings of small sins, for when they give way once there is scarcely any restraint.  When the year ended, the good lady requested me still to remain, but thank the Lord, I had some good friends who advised me to leave the place (for no doubt, they saw I would soon be ruined by bad company), therefore I hired myself to a Mrs. Nancy Gilmore, a very respectable and pious old lady with a family of two daughters and one Son then living with her. In the first place, I had to change my conduct, my language, and my manners, and bad habits, and was changed in almost every respect.  By the Godly walk and conversation of the good old lady, I was led to admire good company.  She advised me to take my Bible and go with her children to Sunday School.  At first, I did not like it but thought I must do as my comrades, thus did.  So I went to Sunday School and soon acquired a taste for it.  In the first place as too many do, I prided myself in getting my lessons better than others.  Sunday School was then at Pisgah, (about eighty-five miles from Selma).

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Reverend S. Alexander was then Pastor of that Little Church, a man of whom I shall frequently speak, for I have often thought he was the most indefatigable preacher I ever saw.  He never spared himself in the Master's work.  He would frequently lecture us on the Sunday School lessons after he had faithfully warned sinners from the pulpit.  His lectures always interested me for I could understand him in every point.  About this time the Spirit of God began to work on my heart. I began to reflect seriously and read the Bible with much attention, however, these slight impressions were off, but not without some salutary effects.  The year ended and nothing would do the old lady but I must labor for her another year, so I renewed my bargain for her another year.

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This year was spent in part, somewhat similar manner.  In the summer there was a sacramental meeting at Pleasant Valley Creek Church, of which Reverend S. Alexander was Pastor.  I went one Sabbath and heard the Ministers of God aloud proclaim the danger sinners were in.  I was much affected but concealed it by keeping out of the company as much as possible until it wore off, for I had determined to delay seeking religion until I had become old yet was fully bent on not dying without it.

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By some reason or other, my mind about this time, in spite of me, was much troubled about the subject of religion, and apparently, the more I strove against its power, the more awfully did my conscience check me.  I would sometimes try to pray,  but alas, I was afraid to pray. I would frequently retire to bed without attempting to pray, lest my mind should be harassed by religious thoughts whilst musing upon my pillow.  But alas, there is truly no peace for the wicked, for I would have to rise at midnight hours and go in secret where to hush the thunderings of a guilty conscience.  I would fall down and in a very broken manner try to pray.  I would then, retire to bed, but often could not find any ......